We’ve all been there, and by “We” I mean parents, when somebody, someplace uses your own child…
TO MAKE YOU CRAZY!
Here is a list of things that are GUARANTEED to drive a parent crazy!
I’ve compiled this list as a precautionary measure in helping anyone out there to alleviate the headaches that some times go along with parenting!
So, lets stop wasting time and get right to it…
I HATE these little rubber pests!
First off, when you’re kid sees a balloon, something happens in that little mind. I’m not really sure how to explain it! Have you ever seen a stack of brand new one hundred dollar bills, and the owner just waving them around asking, “Hey… anyone want this stack of bills?”
But I’m willing to bet that is the same feeling your toddler gets when he sees that balloon!
Now getting a balloon is AMAZING, but owning a balloon can ONLY lead to a bad time.
Either that balloon is going to make it’s escape out in the parking lot leading to hysterics or (my personal favorite) it’s going to be released inside a building with a roof JUST high enough to keep the string within taunting distance. That’s when the real crying begins!
Then when you get it home, it gets popped within the hour after your son realizes that that balloon makes for an excellent bouncy chair!
Lets not even get into the death trap driving with a helium filled balloon is. I swear it’s trying to kill you!
If your child is lucky enough NOT to pop that damned thing, then prepare yourself for a fit the next morning when he wakes up to find his beloved balloon deflated on the floor.
And don’t even get me started on ceiling fans!
Stickers are like glitter! By that, I mean they are like herpes!
They get everywhere and stick to EVERYTHING.
Sure, if your really careful, you can gently peal that brittle piece of paper off your coffee table, but you know that’s not going to happen! That paper will do the impossible and somehow multiply leaving a white shadow of itself “GLUED” to that table. This time, TWICE as hard to remove!
And when did they start putting stickers in EVER DAMN coloring book you can find?
My kid loves to color, which is awesome, but the moment he flips open that book and reveals that strip of stickers, it’s game on!
Imagine the sounds of birds singing on bright and sunny morning! Now imagine a thousand birds singing… at once… a foot away from your head!
I’m an avid lover of the arts and music in general, but giving a three foot long plastic horn to a toddler with zero training and immediately turning that child back over to his parent with a SMILE on your face is just evil!
Here is a list of instruments that will break a parent within minutes.
- 3 Foot Long Plastic Horns (Any Horn Really)
- Those wooden sticks you slam together
As I’m writing this list, I realized that I can pretty much just point you to a list of musical instruments.
ALL OF THEM will drive a parent crazy in minutes when handled by a toddler!
SUCKERS, LOLLIPOPS, DUMDUMS
Why is it every drive through bank teller in the world wants to give my kid these”Sticky”, 100% Pure Sugar, Nitro Boosts on a stick to my kids?
The real kicker here, is that a lot of them will ask if it’s OK to give them one. Which seams like a very kind gesture. After all, not every parent wants to turn their little ones into a whirling storm of hyperactivity.
Unfortunately, you just announced over that speaker loud enough for everyone in the car to hear that you not only have candy, but are willing to give it to them.
This leaves me only two choices.
Either I say yes and deal with the sticky fingers, dirty seats, and the next thirty minutes of crazy or say no and become the “Bad Guy” here… Thanks a lot Bank Teller Lady!
So next time you decide to go out and buy a cheap gift for your friends kid from one of those dollar stores, just remember that they are your friends and you’d like them to stay sane. Unless you hate them, then I guess you can call this a list to have your enemies kids drive them insane!
If you found this post to be helpful than please share it below and leave me a comment if you feel anything else should make the list!
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