Are you TRYING to hurt yourself?


This is a question I probably ask my five year old on a daily bases.  I feel like I’m getting hurt just watching him play.


I hit on this subject a little in a previous article 10 FACTS about being a Dad that WILL keep you up at night but felt I could expand on it a little.


Jumping off the bed!

Jumping on or off the bed is a huge pet peeve of mine!

I mean he even knows the words to 5 little monkeys by heart!

He should know better than to go diving off his bed.  Especially when you take into account the array of toys he has spread across his bedroom floor.


Saving Private Elmo!

His room is like a War Zone!  Toys and Stuffed Animals as far as the eye can see.

We clean his room on a daily basis, but within an hour, it’s as if a tornado tore through it.

Watching him play in the room is nerve wreaking too.  Besides diving off his bed into the mess. He’ll often just smash right on through all the toys as if they aren’t even there while he races his hot wheels around the room!


Diving over the Sofa!

We have a pretty large Sectional Sofa so this thing takes up a bit of room.  One side rests safely along the living room wall, but the other side is wide open stretching about half way across the room, but still gives PLENTY of walking space to move from the kitchen to the living room.

There must be some sort of invisible field there that only my son can see because he will take every opportunity to dive over the back.  Often leaving him rolling onto the floor below.

Not only is he risking injury, but that sofa WAS NOT CHEAP!


Crash, Bang, Boom!

So much this!

If Crash Test Dummy was a real job, my son would be perfect for it.  I’ve literally seen him fall while he was standing still!

How do you do that?

He crashes into everything!

In the last week I’ve seen him…

  • Cut a corner to close causing him to crash into the door frame.
  • Toss a toy above him having it crash into his head.
  • Fall over trying to grab a toy off the floor that was just slightly behind him.
  • Take his shoes off and proceed to trip over them.
  • Attempt to climb over his little sisters Play Area Gate and land on his butt.
  • Do Multiple “Jump Spins” as he “Dances” to his favorite songs.  Almost always landing on his knees!


The amount of self made bruises this kid gets is unbelievable!

Currently, he has a nice black and blue mark RIGHT UNDER his eye from slamming himself right in the face with a toy when he was trying to pull it free from being tangled in a blanket.


I’ve even had moments where I’d contemplate keeping him home from school just because he gave himself a bruise on his arm or leg from playing too hard!

His own teachers HAVE in fact called me on occasion because of his bruises…  the funny part is it’s because he bruised himself AT SCHOOL and they were afraid I’d blow up on them!


I can’t be the only one!  Does your child constantly give themselves bruises while playing?  Tell us your story in the comments below and please don’t forget to Sign Up for our Newsletter to stay up to date on the latest postings and promotions from Hey You Red Blue!

10 thoughts on “Are you TRYING to HURT YOURSELF?

  • May 12, 2017 at 4:01 am

    Both my children are clumsy, but less so now they’re older (14 years and 11 years). I, however, am still as clumsy as I was at your son’s age and like your son am constantly covered in self inflicted bruises. Hopefully, your little boy will grow out of it though 😉 #ThatFridayLinky

  • May 12, 2017 at 7:41 am

    Yes! haha! My girls are forever climbing on the sofa, jumping on the bed and running like crazy without looking where they’re going! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

  • May 12, 2017 at 8:07 am

    My son spends his entire day finding ways to terrify me, I do not know how has he got to 4 without a trip to A&E (totally jinxed myself now!). Oh well, can’t complain it is ever boring 🙂

    • May 12, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Very true! Love the little guy, but, “Oh Boy!” does he ever push my heart to the limit sometimes with his Dare Devil ways.

  • May 12, 2017 at 9:27 am

    My little girl is 5. its a constant battle between trying to keep her outside and active and keeping her safe. She seems to determined to drive me insane #thatfridaylinky

  • May 13, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    You are not alone My twins are forever pushing boundaries lol fab post Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  • May 16, 2017 at 7:12 am

    I know boys are different to girls. I’ve seen it. Boys seem to do things that girls wouldn’t ever dream of. Saying that though, my daughters BOTH like to watch TV whilst literally standing on their heads on the sofa and so effectively watching it upside down. They are also incapable of walking around the sofas to get to the kitchen, and instead they are only able to climb over the side table to get there. My side table is barely holding itself together and I’m anticipating it will shatter under one of them any day now! The joys!

    • May 16, 2017 at 7:15 am

      Absolutely! I’m already noticing my daughter is much less “crazy” than her big brother. Although she has her own little “quirks” that scare the hell out of me!

  • May 20, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    Again, pretty sure this is going to be my son in another years time! He’s currently 11 months and has already mastered climbing up and standing himself up on a chair all by himself, climbing onto the megabloks table, climbing up the stairs and climbing up the ladder of his three year old sisters bed. Did I mention he usually falls off all these things too?! Boys! Another great post, thanks for sharing it with us on #MarvMondays. Emily


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